Feds fear links to Mexican cartels may signal new phase of marmot mayhem.
YOSEMITE NATIONAL PARK — In an escalating wave of crime, the “Alpha Squirrel” gang of yellow-bellied marmots is wreaking havoc on national park guests, leaving a trail of chewed hoses, frayed belts, and disabled vehicles.
Once thought to be the result of mere varmint vandalism, Federal authorities now believe they have uncovered alarming connections between the Alpha Squirrels, local biker gangs, and the notorious Sinaloa Cartel, suggesting a coordinated effort to disrupt and profit from the chaos.
Investigations reveal the groups are allegedly collaborating with the marmots, using their penchant for chewing car parts to disable vehicles, making it easier for cartel operatives to harvest and sell the parts on the black market. “It sounds surreal, but the evidence is clear,” said DEA spokesperson Hank Schrader. “These marmots are part of a larger strategy to launder profits through legitimate businesses, with funds reinvested to expand criminal operations and recruit new operatives.”
Park officials and law enforcement urge visitors to remain vigilant and protect their vehicles. The cite wrapping vehicles in tarps, natural and chemical repellents, and music by Kenny G played at low decibel levels as particularly effective means of fending off the creatures. This is a developing story.
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