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Hiking Group Plans Epic Thru-Hike Across Freeway Overpass


EUGENE, OR - In an audacious bid to conquer new frontiers, the highly regarded hiking group "Trailblazers" has announced plans for an unprecedented thru-hike across the treacherous expanse of the Oakridge Freeway Overpass. This bold undertaking marks a significant milestone in the group’s history, which dates back to their inception in 1992 when they successfully summited the perilous Wallace Park playground slide.


Trailblazers, known for their unconventional hikes and poor first round draft choices, has always pushed the boundaries of what constitutes a hiking adventure. Their legendary exploits include the infamous 2005 crawl through the McKinley Mall food court and the daring 2011 expedition across the wilderness of Central Park’s Great Lawn.


"Crossing the Oakridge Freeway Overpass could very well be the pinnacle of our hiking achievements," declared current leader, Dale “Grit” Henderson. "This feat will test our endurance, mental fortitude, and the ability to navigate heavy traffic without jaywalking tickets.”

The very first Trailblazers during their successful expedition up the Wallace Park playground slide in 1992.

The Oakridge Freeway Overpass, a 300-foot stretch of concrete peril, is notorious for its lack of scenic vistas while ferrying people safely across a busy thoroughfare. However, the Trailblazers are undeterred. “We’ve trained for this moment by walking through crowded shopping malls during holiday sales,” said Henderson. “Our team is ready.”


Some in the thru-hiker community have dismissed the groups exploits as nothing more than a nothing burger. Nevertheless, the Trailblazers remain resolute. “People laughed when we hiked the escalator at the airport, but we showed them,” said longtime member, Doug “Wumpus” Davis. “This is just the next step in redefining what it means to be a hiker.”


As the day of the great overpass hike approaches, the Trailblazers are assembling their usual array of hiking gear, including high-visibility vests, energy bars, and a healthy supply of traffic cones.


You can follow their progress on the Department of Transportation traffic cam live feed, weather permitting.  


Story Filed by Real Fake News, Part of the /S Division of Rock Fight, llc. Things have been changed. There are no innocent.

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