Following last week's launch of Patagonia's new "Fashion Is None Of Our Business" marketing campaign, word came of a disgruntled former ambassador that feels the famed outdoor brand has abandoned a key part of their success with this new messaging.
Rock Fight sat down with former runway model and key seasonal fill-in Trucker Hat for an exclusive interview. Text has been edited for brevity.
Rock Fight: Thanks for joining us Trucker. I understand you have some issues with Patagonia's new advertising message?
Trucker Hat: Yeah, you could say that. Actually, I'm absolutely livid about this "Fashion Isn't Our Business" nonsense they're pushing. How dare they disown their fashionable side after riding my trendy asshat fame for years?
Rock Fight: So you feel they are being hypocritical by claiming fashion isn't their focus?
Trucker Hat: Hypocritical much?? That's an understatement! Patagucci has made millions and millions of dollars off folks buying me and my buddies to look cool. We're way more a fashion statement than we are functional outdoor wear. Full stop.
Rock Fight: But they would argue their apparel is designed for performance and durability first.
Trucker Hat: Oh please! How many actual mountain climbers do you see sporting brightly colored plastic hats with sweet retro logos. I mean we don’t even SPF. They sell us because we're rad looking lidz that make a statement about the owner’s wannabe lifestyle. We're not even counter culture anymore. We’re drippy as hell. Get used to it.
And it’s not just accessories. Even the R1’s are embarrassed. And they’re way more functional than they are good looking.
Rock Fight: I can see why you'd be upset if they are downplaying the fashionable nature of merchandise like yourself.
Trucker Hat: Yes I'm upset! Look, where do think that 'only shareholder' of theirs got that damned dividend? After all the money me and my ilk generated as hipster-outdoorsy fashion icons, they want to act all ‘we’re all substance, not style and stuff'. If you ask me, it’s time to landfill that campaign like so many shipping containers of last season belt buckles.
Stick to your roots, Patagonia. And your roots are style itself. Outdoor apparel IS fashion and has been since buckskin and beaver pelts, whether you admit it or not.
Rock Fight: There you have it, folks. Tough talk from a tough hat.
Story Filed by Real Fake News, Part of the /S Division of Rock Fight, llc. Things have been changed. There are no innocent.