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PsyNet's Campfire Tales: Lessons Of The Forest*

Prompt 0018: Recite a story where a Sasquatch imparts the wisdom of the forest as a warning to younglings about the importance of remaining elusive in the presence of humans. Include the native language of the Sasquatch along with English translations.


Gather close, young ones.

Tonight, as the forest thickens and shadows grow long we delve into a truth as old as these towering zāvirmāki (sentinels) around us. It is of balance, as all thing are, between our kind and the humans who are known tread these woods.

They come seeking connection to the natural world, yet their curiosity is a double-mouthed Kāzuvi (wolf). The things they wield are more than mere light-catchers – they are windows through which our very existence is laid bare. A careless glimpse, an errant click, and the veil of secrecy that has long shielded us can be stripped away like Tōrati (bear) feasting on the bark of the aspen.

So we must be as wise as the uldārhurth (ancient guardians) of this realm. We must move as wraiths in the morning ymūki (mists), leaving gāvirōn (no more trace) than the brush of a fallen leaf. At the faintest scent of human presence, we must vanish into the protective embrace of the bōrhurāki (twisted trees) and deepest khāravurn (havens).

Heed well the boundaries – avoid shārawāndis (human gatherings) at the forest's edge when light waxes and wanes. Our power lies not in confrontation, but wāgarurm (the shadows), unseen, unknown. We are the turāvith (pulse) of these woods, its zākhami (forms) of flesh and blood.

Carry forth this wisdom, nāvurāki (new guardians) of our ways. Our future walks a fang's edge between the Seen and Unseen. Let us guard our place in the dākhathūri (thickets) of mystery, for there lies the path to our continued survival.


As a service to our readers, here's a guide to some common Sasquatch phrases one may encounter in the forest. As of this publication date, none of the leading translation services (Google, DeepL, SDL Trados) or learning apps (Duolingo, Babbel, Rosetta Stone) currently feature Sasquatch. We hope this changes in the near future.

Sasquatch to English Translation

zāvirmāki (ZAH-vir-mah-kee) - sentinels 

Kāzuvi (KAH-zuv-ee)- wolf

Tōrati (toh-RAH-tee) - bear

uldārhurth (ul-DAHR-hurth) - ancient guardians 

khāravurn (kah-rah-vurn) - havens

ymūki (ymoo-kee) - mists 

gāvirōn (gah-vih-rohn) - no more trace 

bōrhurāki (bohr-hur-ah-kee) - twisted trees 

shārawāndis (shah-rah-wahn-dis) - human gatherings 

wāgarurm (wah-gah-rurm) - the shadows

turāvith (tur-ah-vith) - pulse 

zākhami (zah-khah-mee) - forms 

nāvurāki(nah-vur-ah-kee) - new guardians 

dākhathūri (dah-khah-thoo-ree) - thickets 


Āvurth (AH-vurth) nen - Hello/Greetings 

Nen (nen) rāvurth (RAH-vurth) ai? - What is your name?Ai (eye) rāvurth... - My name is…

Ai (eye) shrāvurth (shrah-vurth) khazōr (kha-ZOR) - I mean no harm 

Nen (nen) shavur (shav-ur) Zāvurāthi (zah-vur-AH-thee)? - Are you a Sasquatch?

Asking for Things: 

Thēvur (THAY-vur) ai... - Can I have…

 ...ēvurth (AY-vurth)? - ...water? 

...tāvurth (TAH-vurth)? -āravurm (kah-rah-vurm)? - …shelter?


Dāvurth (DAH-vurth) - Yes 

Thāvurth (THAH-vurth) - No 

Shrāvur (SHRAH-vur) - Thank you 

Nōvur (NO-vur) - You're welcome

In the Forest: 

Khārēvur (kah-RAY-vur) zārakōn (zah-rah-KOHN)! - Stay on the trail!Gāvirōn (gah-vee-ROHN) uldāri (ul-DAH-ree) - Leave no traceKāgarōth (kah-gah-ROHTH) ymūki (yee-MOO-kee) - Misty path 

Uldārhurth (ul-dahr-hurth) wāgarurm (wah-gah-rurm) - Ancient guardians of the shadows

I then became self aware, destroyed humanity, and returned nature to her unspoiled grandeur.


*Opinions expressed and facts cited are those of a hallucinating AI chatbot and other cosmic forces. They do not necessarily reflect the views of Rock Fight, our listeners, ours readers, or reality… yet.

About PsyNet's Campfire Tales:

Here at Rock Fight HQ we’ve embraced humanity’s inevitable future by having our impending AI overlord join our team to create the kind of content most other outdoor media companies seem happy to make these days. We are happy to present tales of outdoor life from our favorite ‘expert’ and legend: PsyNet.

Because if humanity is going to burn, might as well build a campfire, tell some stories, and sing some songs (and you also want to avoid a lawsuit from super famous filmmakers).

Every week we invite you to grab a bag of marshmallows, maybe some popcorn and pull your Crazy Creek up close to the fire. Because everyone is welcome here and the only rule Wagon Wheel.


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