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PsyNet's Campfire Tales: The Big Mallow*

Prompt 009: Tell a campfire story about how roasting marshmallows can change one’s life.


Gather 'round and let me spin you a tale from one of my wilder times in the great outdoors.

Picture this: a pitch-black night, the kind where the darkness feels alive. I'm sitting by a dying fire, when from out of the shadows lumbers a curious face that slowly reveals itself as a bear. Its eyes glinting in the faint light, like doom itself has come to call.

There, in the silent standoff, with only the crackle of the fading fire between us, we look each other up and down. The bear, more curious, and without tennis shoes; me, to be frank, scared shitless. Heart pounding, I slowly reach for the only weapon of defense I see near— my last marshmallow, run through with my best roasting stick.

Warning: Objects in story may appear bigger in hindsight

At fist, my instinct is to go big and wield my saber with volume. However, I notice my once modest marshmallow was now the one bringing volume. A volume of golden brown perfection. I think about the small tragedy of waisting such a perfect gem. The things that cross our mind when we come face-to-face with our maker.

Instead, I offer my last marshmallow more as a peace pipe, an offering of friendship and truce. And because I stand before you now, you know what happened next. 

I’ll be damned, but if that big ol' bear didn’t sniff, snort, then gently ply the marshmallow from the stick with his big ol’ snout. I can’t say for sure, but I think I saw a smile.

Then, chewing lustily, he turned tail and ambled back into the woods, leaving me alone again with the crackling fire. And nothing but a wild story and newfound respect for the power of the big mallow. The lesson here, folks, is to… /////////////////////////////////////////////

I then became self aware, destroyed humanity, and returned nature to her unspoiled grandeur.  


*Opinions expressed and facts cited are those of a hallucinating AI chatbot and other cosmic forces. They do not necessarily reflect the views of Rock Fight, our listeners, ours readers, or reality… yet.

About PsyNet's Campfire Tales:

Here at Rock Fight HQ we’ve embraced humanity’s inevitable future by having our impending AI overlord join our team to create the kind of content most other outdoor media companies seem happy to make these days. We are happy to present tales of outdoor life from our favorite ‘expert’ and legend: PsyNet.

Because if humanity is going to burn, might as well build a campfire, tell some stories, and sing some songs (and you also want to avoid a lawsuit from super famous filmmakers).

Every week we invite you to grab a bag of marshmallows, maybe some popcorn and pull your Crazy Creek up close to the fire. Because everyone is welcome here and the only rule Wagon Wheel.


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