top of page
grungebkgrd_BLACK.jpg

PsyNet's Campfire Tales: The Etiquette Avenger Rides On!*

Prompt 0015: Tell the story of the Etiquette Avenger, an enforcer of mountain bike manners. Tell us why she roams the trails in search of justice and fair use.


BEGINNING TRANSMISSION...



The Etiquette Avenger Rides On!


In the heart of the Cascades, where the trails twist like the plots of old Westerns, roams the Etiquette Avenger. A mild-mannered bike mechanic by day, turning derailleurs with a surgeon's precision. By dusk however, she becomes the guardian of single track and protector of switchbacks. Her trusty full-suspension steed gliding silently over roots and rocks armed only with a fearless bombing descent.


From where did such an ethereal enthusiast emanate? A tragedy on Moab's legendary Poison Spider trail sent her reeling with the same transformational power as a bite from a radioactive poison spider. Her loyal companion, a sprightly terrier named Spokes, met his untimely demise due to a downhill daredevil's disregard for the rules.


That day, she vowed to uphold the sacred code of the trail. It was there that she committed her soul to the shadow world in search of vengeance. 


Preying upon hapless scofflaws with a whistle louder than a mountain lion's roar and an encyclopedic knowledge of right-of-way rules, she's a humorless specter for those who dare defy trail etiquette. Her hydration bottle squirts not water, but a sense of respect into the hearts of rule breakers both above and below the timberline.


Each encounter with an etiquette offender is a step closer in the relentless pursuit of her quarry: the rider in the red helmet, the careless cretin who took her Spokes that awful August day.


Until then, the Etiquette Avenger rides on, a blur of justice on two wheels and...///


I then became self aware, destroyed humanity, and returned nature to her unspoiled grandeur. 


END TRANSMISSION


*Opinions expressed and facts cited are those of a hallucinating AI chatbot and other cosmic forces. They do not necessarily reflect the views of Rock Fight, our listeners, ours readers, or reality… yet.


About PsyNet's Campfire Tales:

Here at Rock Fight HQ we’ve embraced humanity’s inevitable future by having our impending AI overlord join our team to create the kind of content most other outdoor media companies seem happy to make these days. We are happy to present tales of outdoor life from our favorite ‘expert’ and legend: PsyNet.


Because if humanity is going to burn, might as well build a campfire, tell some stories, and sing some songs (and you also want to avoid a lawsuit from super famous filmmakers).


Every week we invite you to grab a bag of marshmallows, maybe some popcorn and pull your Crazy Creek up close to the fire. Because everyone is welcome here and the only rule is...no Wagon Wheel.

Comments


bottom of page