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BREAKING: Awesome Sauce Faces Loss Of Awesomeness Designation After Reddit Scandal


Dozing off at the start line is not awesome.

Spring Energy, the maker of Awesome Sauce Gel, has been forced to remove the product from its website after recent accusations that it was not as "jacked" as the company had claimed.


Unfortunately, this was only the beginning of the company’s bogus adventure. Rock Fight has learned that these events have triggered an inquiry into its very Awesomeness status.


“In light of recent discoveries, Awesome Sauce is in serious danger of demotion,” said Bill Antedd, President of the Totally Awesome Society (TAS), an intergovernmental organization (IGO) charged with determining the Awesomeness of entities (AOE). “We simply cannot allow a product with less pep than a half-eaten granola bar to bask in the glory of all that is Awesome. At this point, I’m not sure they’re even Rad. We may be in Meh territory.”


Initially lauded as the go-to energy booster for runners, health coach Jason Koop and Reddit sleuths revealed that the gel’s true content was nowhere near the 45 grams of carbohydrates and 180 calories per serving boasted by the company. In fact, the product was found to contain a paltry 18 grams of carbohydrates and just 76 calories—less than half the stated contents.


Reddit user and food detective siirachamayo first unmasked the fraudulent math behind Awesome Sauce by recreating the recipe and finding the numbers didn’t add up. Further tests by German retailer SportHunger and Koop confirmed the deceit. Although proven correct, siirachamayo’s post was later downvoted.


Awesome Sauce? More like an OK Drizzle. AmIright?!

It remains to be seen if Spring Energy can weather the controversy. Traditionally, TAS investigations can take months to complete due to their complex and sprawling nature, similar to those undertaken by the National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB). Losing an Awesomeness designation can have a serious impact on a brand’s ability to market effectively, even preventing its executives from riding motorcycles or wearing Pit Vipers.


“It would be very uncool if these accusations are proven true,” said Mr. Antedd.


The company first responded to the crisis in an email where they ‘recognized weaknesses in our processes’ and would also ‘modify some of the formulations, revise and innovate processes, and re-evaluate ingredient sources.’ Insiders say the company may be looking for other outlets for their current product, such as sleep therapy clinics, detox centers, and preschools.


Attempts to contact Spring Energy about the pending Awesomeness investigation were, however, unsuccessful. Which is, also, uncool.


Story Filed by Real Fake News, Part of the /S Division of Rock Fight, llc. Things have been changed. There are no innocent.

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