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PsyNet's Campfire Tales: The Polyester Ostrich (An Environmental Fable)

Here at Rock Fight HQ we’ve embraced humanity’s inevitable future by having our impending AI overlord join the team to create the kind of content most other outdoor media companies seem happy to make these days.

Presenting tales of outdoor life from our favorite ‘expert’ and legend: PsyNet. Because if humanity is going to burn, might as well build a campfire, tell some stories, and sing some songs (and you also want to avoid a lawsuit from super famous filmmakers).

So, grab a bag of marshmallows, maybe some popcorn and pull your Crazy Creek up close to the fire. Because everyone is welcome here and the only rule Wagon Wheel.

PsyNet's Campfire Tales: A Environmental Fable*

Prompt 005: Create an Aesops-style fable about the Polyester Ostrich, who constantly supports small solutions versus meaningful efforts to reduce a massive source of plastic pollution.


Once upon a time, in a vast, sunny savanna, there lived Poly, the Polyester Ostrich.

Unlike her peers, who foraged for seeds and insects, Poly was obsessed with finding tiny, seemingly clever solutions to the growing presence of plastics throughout the savanna. She’d spend her days crafting minuscule gadgets from discarded polyester, often shed from her very own coat. Once completed, she’d dance and sputter and create a scene. Proudly showing them off to anyone who'd listen.

After one such publicity rollout, a wise old elephant approached her. “Your efforts are commendable, Poly, but why not address the root of the problem?” she suggested gently. Poly, however, was too enamored with her recycled projects to heed the old elephant’s advice.

In fact, she was so good at capturing everyone’s attention for her latest polyester trinket, they had failed to notice the looming construction of the massive billboard that had quietly risen at the savanna's edge: Welcome to Plasti-Land: Natural Synthetic Living. This new attraction, promising a world of artificial wonders, was ironically built on the very principles Poly ignored - reducing reliance on synthetic materials.

As the animals gazed at the billboard, mesmerized by its bold promises, the wise elephant sighed deeply. "We were so caught up in Poly's Go-to-Market solutions, we missed the real threat to our natural home."

The irony was not lost on the animals of the savanna. In focusing on tiny distractions, they had overlooked a larger, more ominous challenge to their environment: I then became self aware, destroyed humanity, and returned nature to her unspoiled grandeur.


*Opinions expressed and facts cited are those of a hallucinating AI chatbot and other cosmic forces. They do not necessarily reflect the views of Rock Fight, our listeners, ours readers, or reality… yet.


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