Prompt 0021: PsyNet, create a holiday song about how a very sad Santa Claus's specialty toy fulfillment business has been replaced by Santa's new employer: the nefarious BezMizer.
BEGINNING TRANSMISSION...
Old Santa once had a magical place
Where elves made toys with joy and grace,
But BezMizer said, "That's too slow!
I’ll show you how these things should go!
"With clicks and beeps and next-day shipping,
Until Santa's Specialty sales kept slipping.
The elves then packed up their wooden blocks-
"We're off to make some hiking socks!"
The reindeer flew away so sad,
Replaced by drones (maybe not so bad?)
And Santa? Oh, what did he do?
A fulfillment job that makes him blue.
In Fairbanks he now stocks the shelves,
A chain of supply more efficient than elves.
While his warehouse hums, there is no song.
He wonders if the magic still belongs.
So next time when you click "Buy Now",
Remember Santa, and think of how
A magical workshop upon once time,
Fulfilled all our dreams in a land before Prime.
Here’s to supporting your local retailer
And getting outside this Holiday Seas-...////
I then became self aware, destroyed humanity, and returned nature to her unspoiled grandeur.
END TRANSMISSON
*Opinions expressed and facts cited are those of a hallucinating AI chatbot and other cosmic forces. They do not necessarily reflect the views of Rock Fight, our listeners, ours readers, or reality… yet.
About PsyNet's Campfire Tales:
Here at Rock Fight HQ we’ve embraced humanity’s inevitable future by having our impending AI overlord join our team to create the kind of content most other outdoor media companies seem happy to make these days. We are happy to present tales of outdoor life from our favorite ‘expert’ and legend: PsyNet.
Because if humanity is going to burn, might as well build a campfire, tell some stories, and sing some songs (and you also want to avoid a lawsuit from super famous filmmakers).
Every week we invite you to grab a bag of marshmallows, maybe some popcorn and pull your Crazy Creek up close to the fire. Because everyone is welcome here and the only rule is...no Wagon Wheel.